If you ask someone why he or she got divorced, you will typically get an answer from that person's perspective. The truth often lies between their own truth and their ex's truth. For this reason, an objective source such as you will find in articles on Divorce Partner or from a trained therapist will help you to gain better perspective on your own situation.
With guidance and a commitment from both parties, many causes of failed marriages can be worked through. Unfortunately, it is too often the case that either one or both partners are so entrenched in their own pain and "their truth", that with a depleted reservoir of love and good-will, an extra intentional effort to be kind and supportive is necessary to prevent both people's defense systems from hijacking any positive efforts. This is especially true when one or both are on a mission to change the other person rather than change themselves, or when one or both are more interested in their own personal well being rather than the happiness of the entity that is the couple.
Issues that can often be worked through with proper guidance and education
- growing apart
- learning your partner's needs
Issues more difficult to work through
- high conflict
- isolated sexual fling
- financial issues
- individuals changing as they age
Issues that are extremely difficult to work through
- love affairs
- personality disorders
- chemical dependency
- mid-life crisis
- sexual issues
While some situations such as abuse, chemical dependency and personality disorders require serious intervention from psychological professionals, every situation creates different challenges to work through. It is unfortunate that the many couples with resolvable issues don't get the information and guidance they need to work through their issues, while people locked in a devastating dysfunctional relationship often lack the strength to break free. Ultimately, one of the most common reasons for divorce is inevitably self-centeredness: focusing on one's own needs to the exclusion of the couple's or the partner's needs.