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Is there love after divorce?




While most divorcees are fearful at the thought of entering a new relationship after divorce, the truth is people were designed to be in relationships. Listen to your heart when you think about dating again, but also be careful to not shut your heart down permanently. For those who are not fearful but instead are eager to start dating, watch out! The professionals recommend pacing yourself... take a year off, starting the clock on the date the judge signs your divorce, and here's why.
  • Heal yourself Take this time to rebuild yourself. This loss is significant, and people sometimes jump into the next opportunity for stability, security, and feeling complete. Use this time to re-connect with yourself, your closest friends, and perhaps your spirituality. Many people need a year to start feeling "whole" again on their own, and that is a critical step to take before entering a new relationship.

  • Don't make the same mistake selecting the next partner! Was it beauty, or that your spouse was seemed so "in control", or perhaps it was that you always laughed at how you were so different. It is very common that the characteristics that attract us to our mates turn out to be the poison in our relationships. If so, take note! Way too often, people hit the dating seen looking for those same traits and end up where they started.

  • Learn why your marriage failed. Whether it was just a bad personality match, just growing apart, stress from the job or a deceased child, take the time to learn and improve upon this marriage in your next relationship.

  • Learn your present needs. If you have been married formore than a year, chances are you have changed. The changes may be having children, or it may be that you are more independent. Whatever the changes, make sure you understand what your present needs are.


So heal yourself before opening yourself again to a new relationship. How do you know if you are ready? Where can you get help in identifying what you need to do? The best way may be to work with a trained psychologist.


* NOTICE: * Any advice provided here represent the opionions and research of the writer and are for informational purposes only. For guidance relating to your specific needs, contact a professional.
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