Think Before You Leap. Often the stress of a marital impasse can cause fights that lead to an unplanned trial separation. Instead of waiting for a conflict as a call to action, ask yourself, "Do I love him/her?" If you answer yes, or even I think so, consider marital counseling and a controlled separation, where an unbiased expert can facilitate communication and a structured separation.
Keep your expectations realistic. If you and your partner do enter counseling or undertake a controlled separation, do not expect miracles overnight. Years of problems will not go away immediately, but the situation can improve if both partners are willing to make an effort and use a controlled separation and/or counseling to decide what course of action is best for the relationship.
Be positive, affirmative, and optimistic. A positive attitude allows the couple to work together to resolve their tensions, even as they live apart. If both partners are affirmative and optimistic about the separation process, they will be able to either return to a healthier and happier relationship or divorce on good terms. An optimistic attitude goes a long way to breaking the marital impasse.
Wait actively. Impatience is one of the biggest challenges in a separation. Instead of passively waiting for resolution, focus on self-improvement: go to the gym, become more active in your community or faith, or take up a new hobby. Reconnecting to yourself is one of the quickest ways to reconnect to your relationship.
|Lee Raffel, M.S.W.'s recommendation for Divorce Partner visitors:|
|Should I Stay Or Go?: How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage||Lee Raffel, M.S.W.|
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